Friday, October 14, 2005

REVEALED: Radical web of Islamists who are educated and hold down full-time jobs

The Independent on Sunday has uncovered shocking evidence of a number of British-born Islamist radicals who aren’t claiming housing benefit and don’t have three wives and eleven children.

It is believed that they finance their activities, which include handing out leaflets and organising meetings for perfectly legal organisations through employment in 9-5 jobs.

The Government last night fearing a back-lash from the right-wing press said it was simply powerless to prevent people holding down full-time jobs, paying taxes and National Insurance.
“We are monitoring the situation closely” said a spokesman “but currently we have no power to prevent people holding legitimate jobs and paying their taxes, but we are looking to introduce legislation under which we will be able to hold anyone in indefinite detention if they have jobs, pay their taxes and belong to legal organisations” he said.

Sources also revealed that many of these British-born Pakistanis attracted to political and ideological issues actually work in professional occupations.

A former member of Hizb-ut-Tahrir, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being talked about at the water-cooler in his office last night said that “I know of many British born Pakistani Muslims who are exploiting a loop-hole in the law by exercising their right to free speech and assembly” he said “and they are members of parties that aren’t even violent or banned”.
Last night Khalid Mardood the MP for a white working class suburb screamed “this is an absolute scandal! I have been warning the Government for years of the existence of a hard-core of young Muslims who hold down jobs, pay their taxes and have exercised their democratic rights to free speech and thought, but the Government has consistently ignored me!”.

An expert on terrorism at the Oxford Centre of Terrorist Studies, Sir Ronald Hargey said that he had been predicting this phenomenon for years. “I have carried out various studies for the Home Office which have predicted that British born Muslim who went through university and took degrees in subjects as wide ranging as medicine and political science would
be radicalised by the prospect of being unemployed and in debt and would eventually fall into the clutches of multi-nationals and key public sector bodies like the NHS and even end up in professional occupations” has said.

However Prof Hargey stressed it wasn’t fair to tarnish the whole Muslim community with the same brush: “The vast majority of Muslims in this country are innocent, law-abiding and thick as two short planks who would happily scrounge off the welfare state and dutifully vote in Jack Straw at every opportunity” he assured.

His comments were echoed by the MP Khalid Mardood who said last night that most Muslims in his constituency rejected the dangerous notions that a university education might entail such freedom to think critically and articulate opinions: “I am very happy to say that the vast majority of Muslims I know are happy with low educational achievements brought in by this Government and are happy to see their children hanging out in chicken and chip shops or slopping out in young offender institutions in increasing numbers and more importantly they are very happy to carry on voting for the Labour party year in year out, no matter who we bomb”.
Members of the local mosque committee last night were unable to comment (in English). Alleged members of Hizb ut Tahrir who were contacted were also unable to comment (because they were busy working).

Received from Mustafa Khalid

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good article - we need more satire like this - but be careful because I heard that Shiv Malik has been threatening other Muslim friendly blogs - has anyone else heard anything about this - I found a reference to it on blogistan.co.uk

8:39 am  

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